Matariki
Yip it's Matariki (Maori New Year) "when a small but distinctive star cluster whose appearance in the north eastern pre-dawn sky in late May, early June marks the start of a new phase of life ... [and] signals other new beginnings. Traditionally Matariki was the time to plant trees, prepare the land for planting crops and renew associations with whānau, family and friends. The New Year is also a good time to reflect on your place in the world, to reawaken old skills or try out new ones and set new goals." So it has got me thinking about the last year, and about the year to come.
Predominantly, I have been thinking of Uncle Bob and Nana. Tomorrow it is one year since Uncle Bob died, and in three weeks, it has been a year since Nana's death. It seems both a lifetime ago and yet as if it happened yesterday.
I don't think you ever get used to them being gone, but you adjust to life without them. It has taken me until the last couple of months to let myself grieve. I still feel these holes in my heart. It still doesn't seem right visiting Aunty Val or Popa without their spouse being there as well. But I know they are with Jesus, in the best place, and I celebrate that one day I will be with them in God's presence as well.
I've also been thinking a lot of the future. In six months I will be a SA officer, the fulfillment of the vision I had over ten years ago. I have no idea what exactly my role will be, what town I'll be living in, how my life will change next. I'm excited and terrified all at the same time. I'm no longer petrified of walking the journey alone because I have learnt that I'm not. Not only do I have friends and colleagues who support me, but the Creator of the Universe is holding my hand. I couldn't possibly be in a better position! I feel like I am stepping out of the boat onto the water. I feel incredibly at peace.
Predominantly, I have been thinking of Uncle Bob and Nana. Tomorrow it is one year since Uncle Bob died, and in three weeks, it has been a year since Nana's death. It seems both a lifetime ago and yet as if it happened yesterday.
I don't think you ever get used to them being gone, but you adjust to life without them. It has taken me until the last couple of months to let myself grieve. I still feel these holes in my heart. It still doesn't seem right visiting Aunty Val or Popa without their spouse being there as well. But I know they are with Jesus, in the best place, and I celebrate that one day I will be with them in God's presence as well.
I've also been thinking a lot of the future. In six months I will be a SA officer, the fulfillment of the vision I had over ten years ago. I have no idea what exactly my role will be, what town I'll be living in, how my life will change next. I'm excited and terrified all at the same time. I'm no longer petrified of walking the journey alone because I have learnt that I'm not. Not only do I have friends and colleagues who support me, but the Creator of the Universe is holding my hand. I couldn't possibly be in a better position! I feel like I am stepping out of the boat onto the water. I feel incredibly at peace.
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