RIP Nana

So Saturday 30th December, I went out to Gordonton Cemetery with most of the whanau to put Nana's ashes to rest - just as Popa wanted. It was a nice time. Strange time. I still expect to go and see her at the home, sitting up in bed or something.

What I did like about this was that now I finally feel like I have closure of some sort. The day after the funeral in July, I went straight home to Wellington, and have kept busy (such is life so it wasn't much effort on my part) so outside of random tears at random moments, I don't know how well I have grieved. Actually, I don't think it is about if we have finished grieving or not ... I don't think you ever get over the loss of a loved one. You just adjust to a new way of living.

Mum gave me Nana's Bible the night before and as I was flipping through the pages, I was crying. I let out a lot of my anger at God - why did He take her - all that stuff and I came to an old brown envelope. On it, in Nana's handwriting was written "There is a season for everything. A time to live, a time to die." That verse from Ecclesiastes 3. I looked where the envelope was placed. Psalm 39. And I read these words:

4 "Show me, O LORD, my life's end and the number of my
days; let me know how fleeting is my life.
5 You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man's life is but a breath.

6 Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro:

He bustles about, but only in vain; he heaps up wealth, not knowing who will get it.
7 "But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.

And it hit me. Nana had known her days were numbered. She had known she was near the end and her hope was in God.

Unless you believe in God, you might think this was all conincidence. But I know better. As I sat crying on my bed, I knew God had planted that envelope and those verses just for me at that time. And I had this peace overflow me ... Grieve for she's not with you, but rejoice for she's with Me. Forever.

And so that's what we did. I am reminded of 1 Thessalonians 4:13 which reminds believers that we do not grieve like those who have no hope. My hope is in the Lord. That reminds me my future is there as well. Praise God!

I got to pick flowers to go on Nana's grave, so I chose this bouquet - white roses (her fav flowers) and red calla lillies, like the ones that grew in our paddock when we lived with Nana and Popa.

And we also took a bouquet out to put on my other grandparents' grave. (Dad's parents)

After we all went to a cafe for morning tea ... here's Matt and Popa. (the plaster is where his stitches are!)