Grief. Sheesh.

So outside of the holiday aspects, I have found the last three or so weeks incredibly tough going. It's been a year since Uncle Bob died, and a year today since Nana died.

Mum even took me to the GP up in Hamilton to check in case I had depression (which it turns out I don't, but he thinks I have been 'repressing' my grief and my body is starting to react now). I was relieved to hear I wasn't going crazy, which was a fear I had secretly been holding, but this whole having to deal with things sucks!

And then yesterday Joe and Nan (the Maori Ministries leaders for TSA in NZ) came out to College. I haven't seen them since Lester's funeral at Christmas time and when Joe sang man I heard Lester. So for the first time, I cried for Lester too. (Lester was kind of an adopted uncle).

It's funny though. Today was the day I've been dreading most and while I haven't had a good cry yet, it's the first day I'm feeling like there is a light at the end of this tunnel. What a tough journey though. Sheesh.